Archive for December 22nd, 2009

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Intentionally Empty

December 22, 2009

How do you say “this article is insanely fracking stupid” in journalese? Sometimes I just have to blog about the stupidity of assertions. I mean, seriously:

But before we cede the entire moral penthouse to “committed vegetarians” and “strong ethical vegans,” we might consider that plants no more aspire to being stir-fried in a wok than a hog aspires to being peppercorn-studded in my Christmas clay pot. This is not meant as a trite argument or a chuckled aside. Plants are lively and seek to keep it that way.

Yes, my plants have depressingly unrealistic aspirations. I was just chatting with my arborvitae the other day about his hopes of becoming an investment banker. Money doesn’t grow on trees, he (she? it?) kept telling me, insisting that it must instead grow on hedges.