February 3, 2010

There. I said it. Those outside of the Boulder area may be intrigued to learn that the city council is considering passing a new ordinance banning the exposure of female nipples in public. Yes, you heard that right. And yes, it’s that stupid. Male nipples? No problem. They’re generally littler, and somehow less offensive.

Presumably, this proposed ordinance comes in response to some streaking activity that has characterized a few events over the past several years — the naked pumpkin run, the naked bicycle ride, the Pearl Street orgy — so the solution is to pass an ordinance that makes nudity a mere misdemeanor, rather than a felony.

Oh, nudity wasn’t ever actually a felony. It’s just that that’s the best law we had to handle issues of naked people wearing pumpkins on their heads and running through the streets at midnight on Halloween, when all the young impressionable children might be gawking from their windows and exposed, unwittingly, to a pornographic display that could titillate only Ichabod Crane and/or Tim Burton.

Sigh. So much for the “liberal mecca” of Boulder.


  1. I hope they make an exception for the accident flash of a breast feeding mother. (grin).

  2. So men breastfeeding presents no problem? Sweet. Come find me and the flock of tourists with their cameras out this Saturday on the Pearl Street mall.

  3. This is going to kill Boulder’s Mardi Gras.

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